we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
