Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
