Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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