I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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