You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
