So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
