Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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