The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
