there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
