What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize