don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
