My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
