y did u give ur computer a hand job?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
