It's Friday. Sex?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
