I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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