He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
