Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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