There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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