you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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