Just fell off a train. Bad.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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