You're my little dorito
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I've blown a few things in my day
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
