And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
