Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
