But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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