i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
