Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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