ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
