I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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