p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dignity is for republicans.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
did i just pee glitter
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
