How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
