after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
