Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
