why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
