I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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