Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
