just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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