your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
