I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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