That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
