I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
