super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
