also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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