We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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