I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
