can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
