I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
