I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize