We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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