I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
