Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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