Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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