fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
