He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
