it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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