I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
